On this last day of November, a month set aside for giving thanks, I would like to give you my thankful list. I wanted to share all these things around our Thanksgiving table this year, but was unable to even think about sharing without breaking down in tears. But the delay in sharing this list does not diminish my thankfulness. And so here it is.
I am so thankful for my husband. I am thankful for how hardworking he is and how everything he touches seems to turn to gold. I am thankful that he recognized how important it was for him to be around the week following Evie’s death and made himself so available to me. I am thankful that he is not afraid to be emotional. It was a comfort to me to know that losing Evie grieved him to his core and he wasn’t afraid to break down in tears. And I’m thankful for his ability to bounce right back into his daily grind and not skip a beat. There is no part of me that doubts this man’s ability to protect, provide for, and lead his family. What a blessing; may I never take it for granted.
|Micah snapped this picture of his daddy 🙂|
|A daddy’s love|
I am thankful for my kids; the one I have the privilege of raising and the one I have the privilege of carrying in my heart. They have both stretched me and made me grow in ways I never thought imaginable. They have both made me so much more mindful of Heaven. They have motivated me to be a better person – to be more patient, kind, loving. They have made me more tender. God sent Micah and Evie to me as part of His molding process for me. I love those little souls for everything they are and everything God made them to be. And my love for my children has given me a glimpse of God’s love for me. What a treasure.
I am so thankful I was able to give birth to both of my kids naturally, especially Evie. Enduring that amount of pain and then seeing that they were so worth it. I don’t know … it’s pretty indescribable. And someone pointed out to me that my hands were the first and last to touch my daughter; what a privilege.
I also want to add that today was Evie’s original due date. But the Lord always knew she would come early, and I am so thankful she did.
I am thankful for my parents, both sets (biological and in-laws). They have always been supportive but have gone above and beyond, especially since July. I can’t even begin to tell you the amount of emotional and financial support they have given us. And they are always willing to watch Micah anytime and help us with random needs around our home. Having them live so close and be so available is invaluable to me.
I am also so thankful for our church family. People have made mention to Josh and I how well we have handled this whole Evie situation. While we are thankful for those kind words of encouragement, I just wanted to extend the same compliment to our church family. As soon as we heard of Evie’s diagnosis we were surrounded by love and support from our church. The Body of Christ pulled together just as it should when one of it’s members are in need. What a blessing.
I am thankful for friends, both the ones I know personally and the ones I have met via the internet. What a blessing to have so many women I can talk to and share my feelings with. What a comfort to know I am not alone.
And many of the same women who so beautifully organized Micah’s baby shower pooled together again to make Evie’s memorial a grand event. While I know they would have much, much rather thrown another baby shower, the effort and love and creativity they poured forth to make Evie’s day special was just so touching to me. It’s not an event anyone would really want to participate in, but they did it so beautifully and willingly.
I am thankful for my blog and the people who read it. What a blessing it has been for me to share my deepest thoughts and have others encourage me from all over the country. Words are definitely my love language and anytime someone leaves a comment I certainly feel that love. Thank you.
And most certainly, I am thankful for my Heavenly Father. He has carried me so gently throughout this year. I have grown to love Him and depend on Him in ways I never dreamed of. I am thankful that He is using me to point people to Him. A small part of me wishes this wasn’t His plan for me, but I am a willing servant to a gracious Master.
But what would any of these earthly blessings be without the promise of Heaven? I am unspeakably grateful this Thanksgiving season for Christ’s death and resurrection so we can live with Him eternally one day. Everything in my life comes down to that – love for family and friends, enduring trials well, serving Him – these things would dramatically shrink in importance or even disappear completely if it weren’t for the promise of Heaven. Praise to the Father for making a way for us!
I could certainly write pages more but will stop there. I have been so richly blessed even in my darkest hour. To God be the glory, great things He has done.